Welcome to our mathematical humor page! Here you will find jokes, puns, and cartoons all involving math. If you come across a good math joke or cartoon, let us know and we'll be sure to put it on here!

But beware...

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Mathematical Jokes

A Priest, Rabbi and a Mathematician were waiting patiently on stage to be decapitated.
The priest put his head in the slot and the executioner pulled the lever; the guillotine blade came speeding down the track and stopped just a few inches above the priest neck. The priest proclaimed that God had intervened and saved him from execution; the executioner had to agree and let him go.
The mathematician had a disbelieving, puzzled, look on his face.
Next the Rabbi put his head in the slot, the executioner pulled the lever and the blade came speeding down the track and stopped a few inches above the Rabbi's neck. The executioner agreed that God had intervened again and saved the Rabbi also.
The Mathematician, more troubled than ever, put his head in the slot and turned to look upward and he noticed something that made him smile.
Before the executioner could pull the lever, the mathematician said "Hold on there a minute, I see what the problem is! The track has a small pebble blocking the path of the blade". He removed the pebble and announced, "There, it should work just fine now!"

What did the circle say to the tangent line?
"Stop touching me!"

Did you know that 5 out of every 4 people have a problem with fractions?

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting A's in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!"

The shortest math book: An Unabridged List of the Even Primes

Three statisticians go out hunting together. After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots by a foot. The second aims and undershoots by a foot. The third shouts out "We got him!"
(Hint: Take the average of the shots.)

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. They watch as two people go into the house, and then a little later, three people walk out.
The physicist says, "The initial measurement was incorrect."
The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."
And the mathematician says, "If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty."

A mathematician, an engineer, and a chemist are at a conference. They are staying in adjoining rooms. One evening they are downstairs in the bar. The mathematician goes to bed first. The chemist goes next, followed a minute or two later by the engineer. The chemist notices that in the corridor outside their rooms a rubbish bin is ablaze. There is a bucket of water nearby. The chemist starts concocting a means of generating carbon dioxide in order to create a makeshift extinguisher but before he can do so the engineer arrives, dumps the water on the fire and puts it out. The next morning the chemist and engineer tell the mathematician about the fire. He admits he saw it. They ask him why he didn't put it out. He replies contemptuously, "There was a fire and a bucket of water: a solution obviously existed."

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
(Hint: disease vectors and cross products)

There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average. 

A: "What is the integral of 1/cabin?"
B: "log cabin."
A: "Nope, houseboat--you forgot the C."
(Hint: indefinite integrals)

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius Strip?
To get to the same side!
(Hint: möbius strips)

The B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stands for Benoît B. Mandelbrot.
(Hint: Benoît Mandelbrot discovered the Mandelbrot Set of fractals. )

A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space. "How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk. "My head's spinning," the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?" "Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have a beer." The second says, "I'll have half a beer." The third says, "I'll have a quarter of a beer." The barman pulls out just two beers. The mathematicians are all like, "That's all you're giving us? How drunk do you expect us to get on that?" The bartender says, "Come on guys. Know your limits."
(Hint: convergence of an infinite series)

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
(Hint: harmonic series)

Two functions meet in a narrow street.
F1: Clear the way!
F2: No, I won`t.
F1: Move over, or I will differentiate you!
F2: Ok, try it, I am the exponential-function!
(Hint: derivative of the exponential function)

Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?
They had nothing in common.
(Hint: probability)

What is the world's longest song?
"Aleph-naught Bottles of Beer on the Wall."
(Hint: aleph numbers)


How do you know when you've reached your Math Professor's voice-mail?
The message is "The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again..."
(Hint: complex number plane)

Remember kids...

Mathematical Cartoons

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
- Rene Descartes